Performance Appraisals

It is that time of the year. Season of year end performance appraisals. I came across a few gems which really drive the point home.

• I work for money. If you want loyalty, get a dog.
• As long as my boss keeps pretending that I am earning a lot, I go on pretending that I work a lot.

Will add more as and when I come across. Feel free to use these in your discussions.

It's a dog's life

I came across a website, link below, which sells doggie clothes. That is common you'd say. But this company is not just selling clothes, but also bikinis. Yeah, you read it right, the company is selling bikinis for dogs.
http://www.dogclothes-apparel.com/sites/Sportswear/Bikini.html

How do they make bikinis for dogs. What do you ask when you go to buy? Can I get a size 36B or is it BB. What do you do for reference? In a lingerie store you can look at some woman (like men need an excuse), point and say that size is what I am looking for. Hell, you can look at the salesgirl and say that. But how do you do that for dogs.

This is not the all important serious life changing stuff this post is all about. This is about the expression "It's a dog's life".
The expression means the person's life is miserable. It sucks. For trivia buffs, this expression was first recorded in 16th century.

Let's look at a dog's life:

• They can pee/poop where ever they want and not worry about cleaning.
• They don't have to worry about whether the toilet seat is up or down.
• They can lick their wounds and move on.
• They are carried by women in arms and are in constant contact with their boobs (if you need a substitute - woof woof).
• They get to lick women all the time and not get screamed at or asked to use listerine.
• Women never fake headaches with dogs.
• They get to do the doggy style..always....

I think it's time that we redefine the meaning of "It's a dog's life". It should no longer be used by people whose life suck. It should denote happiness and imply that life rocks.

Credit Crunch

What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if a bank returns my cheque with a remark 'insufficient funds', I'll not know if they are referring to mine or theirs.

What men want?

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Directions

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells, each one wriggling in its own direction, totally confident it knows where it is going, to locate a female egg despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. - Dave Barry

Spread your wings

Concrete "Jungle"

Golden Horizon

At times don't we all feel like spreading our wings and flying to that golden horizon.

Smoking Ban

One thing Ramadoss and the government finally got it right. The ban on smoking in public places. I can see all smokers up in arms hoping this post will go up in smoke.

India's population is 1200 million and there are approx 120 million smokers, according to latest census, which translates into a “whopping” 10% smoker population. All smokers are indignant that government is curbing their freedom. Questions like if smoking is injurious to health why doesn't the government ban manufacturing of cigarettes instead of banning smoking in public places. If I were to draw a parallel, this would be similar to laws on speeding. When cars are made to go over 200 kms/hour why are there laws which makes speeding over 60 illegal? Why not just ban the cars or pass laws which will ensure that cars with speed capacity of over 60 are not manufactured?

Banning cars or banning manufacturing of cigarettes will be infringement on freedom. It would mean a ban on making a choice. However, banning smoking in public place is upholding the rights of 90% people to inhale tobacco free air. This is such a fundamental right which smokers violate with impunity regardless of whether it causes air pollution, allergic reactions or plain irritation to others.

I say smokers should rejoice that manufacturing cigarettes is not banned. They are free to buy cigarettes and kill themselves. After all, every one has a right to screw their own lives.

Thank God the smoking ban is finally in place. Now, your smoking will not kill me.