Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Campus Gems

  1. If India becomes an agrarian economy it can avoid sub prime debacle.
  2. India is on the path of development and it can be seen by the fact that global brands like Gucci and Prada are easily available. (And we are worried about sub prime)
  3. BPOs in India can enhance value arbitrage by currency differential. (Pray so that Rupee never appreciates)
  4. Background in HR will help me become a better finance person.
  5. Internship in finance will help me in picking up streams like HR or Marketing.

Monday, September 29, 2008


During boom every body is a leader. But, a true leader is one who rises during the times of trouble, turmoil and calamity to lead from the front - Manoj Jain


Unhe hum itna miss karte hain
ki unhe abhi dekhu yeh hum wish karte hain


Smokers and non smokers (basically all, well almost all) generally leave the last morsel of food or throw it while they are rushing or being rushed. But, smokers will always ask to wait for one more second to take that one last puff or drag.


Have you ever noticed a peculiar thing about smokers. They will not pick up a food item from the floor/ground, like normal people, but will promptly pick up their unlit cigarette and not hesitate in putting it in their mouth.


Sketch your future, but do it in pencil - Adolf Hitler.

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's my turn on Sarah Palin

Everyone is talking on, about, for and against Sarah Palin. I want my share too. Of the topic I mean. McCain can have the rest. He will truly have a 'first mate'.

I think it will be good if McCain and Palin get elected. The world will be a better place with an old haggard and a broad ruling US. They are already in deep economic trouble. This will compound their misery. McCain and Palin will be so much up their own asses and each other's that they will not meddle in affairs of other countries like their predecessor Bush. This will give time and space for all other countries to sort their affairs themselves. All nations are capable of sorting their own houses and given a chance without Uncle Sam's meddling they will do a great job.

Regarding Palin - what an ass.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

National anthem

UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization for all you bozos) announced Indian National Anthem as the BEST national anthem in the world. Well, atleast this is a rumor doing the rounds of internet. I checked UNESCO's website to confirm but did not find any news relating to this.

Well, back to our national anthem. For all you ignoramuses out there,
  1. The anthem was composed by Rabindranath Tagore and NOT A.R. Rahman.
  2. "Chak De India" is NOT our national anthem. If you said yes to this, it's time for you to join your child's class or better yet, go watch a movie in Fame to get educated. Reach before the show starts so that you don't miss the anthem. Please do not come back thinking A.R Rahman is great to have composed such a song. Read point number 1.
  3. The anthem suggests that if people of India come together they can carve a glorious destiny and future for the nation.
  4. This does not glorify Britishers contrary to some of the conspiracy theories, again floating on the Internet.

I don't need UNESCO's validation. I believe my national anthem is the greatest in the world. I love it, respect it and get goose pimples every time I hear it. All other Indians who are too lazy to show respect to our national anthem, eat MUD.


Submarine Racing Championship 2008

Live coverage of the 2008 submarine racing championship held in the Atlantic Ocean.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


This year's HDIL fashion week saw emergence of Skirts for Men. I am not surprised considering most of the designers are gay.
Interested folks can check the link below. The article is titled "Haute ensemble for men: SKIRTS!"

"Skirt Chasing" goes unisex.

One advantage though - A quickie can get quicker.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Why women are so annoying?

I have an answer to that one. It is genetic and hereditary and can be traced back to biblical times. Remember how Eve was created. From Adam's rib. (Documented proof can be found in the book of Genesis, chapters 1, 2 and 3, with some additional elements in chapters 4 and 5).

From that day on women have been RIBBING men.

Just one chance

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Pet love

Big cats can be dangerous but a little pussy never hurt anyone.
Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Are we a country of advisors?

Yes!!!! We Indians like to dole out free advice. Whether we are an authority or not we like to give advice.
Fever - You have fever try turmeric mixed in milk (Yuck!!!, why not just take poison instead).
Sachin - that ball needed a square cut and not a pull (thanks so much dude, on my own I managed to set only 5 records but now I can do so much more...)
Want to reduce fat - drink water in the morning before brushing teeth (yuck again!!)
Pimples - Use your piss or cow's piss on your face (No thank you, but if you want I can piss on your face. Gladly)

Some people might argue that it is human nature to give advice. I say bull shit; it is an out and out Indian trait. We are experts at everything in this world except at minding our own business. We should have a patent on "free advising" and if someone is found trying to dole out free advice we should charge them royalty.

My advice for all those who get free advice - don't take any.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Math and Women

Math is complex. So is a woman.
Math is all about curves, figures, equations etc. Same is the case with women.
World needs math in every sphere; Calculus, research, space, measurements you name it. World needs women in every sphere, well, that's why God created Eve.
EXCEPT - Math has logic......

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

True crisis

Financial world is in a turmoil. Companies are falling like nine pins and there is no end in sight. This looks like an re-enactment of sinking of the Titanic, the mammoth unsinkable ship sank and took thousands of people along with it to their watery graves.
Is this crisis- losing money, job, security of livelihood.
My definition of a crisis is when everything is sinking around you, threatening take you down and you don't have a family, friends or loved ones to turn to, for comfort, support and encouragement, that my friend is a TRUE CRISIS.
If you can confidently say yes, I have my universe full of people who I love and trust, then, nothing else matters. All other crises are temporary.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Small vs Big things

Why is that small things make women happy? Is it because that they take the big things for granted. They are entitled to it. Men are always looking at big things in life. Big car, big house, big bank balance, big vacations etc. Women assume that they will be getting all of these so now they want small thoughtful gestures, flowers, chocolates, calls 5 times a day (so you are buried in work, doesn't matter). How many times have you heard from a woman; small things make me happy. REALLY!!!!!!!


On a cold Monday morning just after shaking off the Monday blues one of my team members called up to ask if I was interested in jumping off a plane with a parachute.
I am a little crazy and was feeling a little suicidal on a Monday morning after starting my day at 7 AM with no coffee, so I said, “Sure, why not ? ” This sounded like fun and put on a very brave face as if I did this kind of thing for a living. Actually I do, I work in a financial services company and have a girlfriend and it is full time job making the twain meet, so I pretty much have experience in it.

I am currently in US on a training, so I’m surviving on a monthly stipend in New York city and stipend as all stipends go is not a whole lot to indulge in this crazy thing. So we checked out the most cost economic place (told you, I work in financial sector). The search was a pilgrimage which we undertook by journeying to the Mecca of all search engines, Google and like God’s reply to prayers, it gave us multiple answers ranging from cheap but far and expensive but close and some in between, and like God’s answers the information was all confusing. Why does Google have to give you multiple options? Wouldn’t life be much easier if you had very few options and you had to choose one of them than having a million options making it difficult to choose? Add to the chaos 7 more people and the war began. All of a sudden everyone turned into an expert in the places they’ve never visited and in the country they are visiting for the first time. This actually proved little knowledge is far too dangerous than no knowledge. So we discussed the options and then one of the team members took the responsibility of coordinating with the sky diving place. God bless him and his enthusiasm. He called up three places and did a price comparison and we finally after a lot of deliberations froze on the cheapest one, like that was a difficult choice to make. However, the place didn’t work out as it was becoming a logistic nightmare to get there so we had to go with the one which was the most expensive. We started discussing the option and after a lot of meetings (shows again that I am in financial sector) and emails and some more meetings and a lot of convincing that the experience is worth the money managed to convince 9 people. We also appealed to the quintessential Indian trait of freebie and said that if there are 9 we get $10 off per person and that just clinched it. Oh, the price for the jump was a measly $325 including the cost of getting a video and after the princely discount of $10.

I got up on Saturday, Nov 11 at 6 AM to catch a train at 7 or rather couldn’t sleep all of Friday night due to excitement and some fear. It should have been an omen considering it was 11/11. Think 9/11 or 7/11. Someone in the group pointed to the connection and the rest of the group was ready to murder him. The most obvious thing happened, which normally would happen to most of the people on a Saturday morning, we missed the train. So we had to take a different train, change stations, take connecting trains and go two stations from the actual destination and then take a cab to get to the skydiving place. It is called Skydive Long Island in Long Island, NY. Should we have taken missing the train as a hint and gone back? No, the never say die spirit or should I say the crazy side prodded us to go on and go on we did. We reached the place and paid for the jump, full in advance. Then were asked to sign an agreement absolving the place from all legal obligations. No wonder they wanted the money upfront. We were showed a video of a lawyer who made it very clear that no matter what happened to us, if we sued, like we could, we would not win as we had already signed the papers and there was no refund policy if the parachute didn’t open. We still went ahead.

The first timers have to jump in Tandem. It means that you are strapped to an experienced sky diver who controls the parachute and ensures that it opens when it should. We met with our instructor who immediately put us to ease by saying that he was extremely nervous and it was his second jump. I then realized that I was in good hands or rather strapped to a good chest. I got into the harness and went through basic training. Then I was off on the plane climbing the sky with one and only one intention; to conquer the sky, fly like a bird and feel free. It gets a little dizzy up there so it really doesn’t matter if it is one or three. The plane climbed to 11,000 feet, though we were promised 13,500 feet. The per feet basis cost came to 24 cents and the sky diving place owes us a refund of $60. This definitely proves that I work in financial sector. However, remember we signed an agreement which said no refund in any case. The moment of truth arrived and I was sitting at the ledge partially hanging in air with my instructor strapped to me. He gently rocked me twice, just enough for me to say no, and jumped, just not enough for me to stop from jumping. I was in air falling at a speed of 120 mph with wind and the ground rushing at me at a break neck speed. That was the time I broke free, free of my fear of heights, free of all tensions in life, free of the world. It was just me and the troposphere and the song playing in my mind “I’m free, free falling”. The free fall lasted for about 30 seconds and the instructor opened the parachute. Damn, why didn’t the fall last an eternity? He guided the chute to landing and I landed hard on my butt. It still hurts a little. Two of my team members also landed at the same time and we got up and walked on the runway, Top Gun style. We did something top gun style and came out as top guns. Money well spent. If I have the time I would do it again and would encourage anyone who gets the opportunity to do it at-least once in their lifetime.