Thursday, July 23, 2009

Decoding the ban on Savita Bhabhi

Q: Why did the govt. ban Savita Bhabhi?
A: Because the old geezers sitting in the parliament started getting desperate and frustrated seeing the porn comic. All of their fantasies were coming true but in a comic book format and not in real life and their yearning for such a person started becoming stronger by the day. How long can one keep those emotions repressed. So they decided to ban the site to save themselves from the torture of seeing their dreams and fantasies being made into a site without featuring them.

Who can act in Savita Bhabhi?

A lot has been written about Savita Bhabhi and how the government by imposing a ban on this site has imposed a ban on freedom and liberty of women. Pritish Nandy went as asking women to stage a dharna to boycott this ban as Savita Bhabhi represented their liberty, their right to free living etc. Bollocks. Savita Bhabhi was purely a porn magazine which was a product of a guy's vivid imagination and fantasies. He was just putting a sketch to his fantasies and a lot of guys around the world were getting pleasure seeing those as many must have had these too.
However, since the government has already imposed a ban, this topic has become a rage among bollywood producers especially the b-grade movie ones. So if they were to cast someone for this role who do you think would best suit? My picks are below in preferential order.
  1. Sherlyn Chopra - She looks the part as she probably lives it too in real life.
  2. Sophie Choudhary - She is the nice curvaceous punju woman who can fit quite easily, though she finds it difficult to fit into her clothes.
  3. Tanushree Dutta - Great body and a complete monopoly on come hither look makes her a good candidate.
  4. Sushmita Sen - She is very sensuous and can carry the docile and sensuality with ease. Remember Main Hoon Na.
  5. Riya Sen - she can't act but guess the role might not require much acting.

Any one you can think of?

Monday, July 20, 2009

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you;

but if you really make them think they'll hate you.


“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” - Charles R. Swindoll

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Harry Potter 6

Don't judge a book by it's movie goes the popular saying. That is true for all Harry Potter movies except the first one. The first one brought those characters from the book alive and made it real for us. However, subsequent movies have not been able to do justice to the books. But in all fairness, movies are a shorter medium compared to books and therefore asking a movie to do full justice is asking a little too much. The post is not about gyan but by now you would have guessed that keeping me from giving gyan is like trying to take a candy out of a child's hand. Quite a daunting task.
Harry Potter's new visual instalment is indeed a visual treat. The director has redeemed himself from the debacle of the earlier movie and has made some spectacular strides in terms of story telling, visual effects and cinematography. The most striking feature of the movie is the beautiful and at times mushy build up of friendship and romance between the central characters. But the movie is all about how the friendship has evolved in 6 years, the chemistry between three best friends and this is one aspect which will appeal to most segment of the masses. Older fans will relive the friendship they shared during their youth, youngsters will look at each other and think we are like this and overall everyone will have this great feeling about friendship. This is where the hidden message comes through. If you have your friends around, you will tide over dark times.
Long live friendship.

Verdict on the movie - go watch it NOW

Dangerous Discovery

Do you know the most dangerous of all discoveries? It's not Dynamite, Atom Bomb or Biological Weapons. The most dangerous concept discovered is "Reading between the lines". I tried Wiki, Google and even the newly launched beta version of Bing to find out who came up with this "men destroying concept" and found nothing. So I am going to go out on a limb here and say it was discovered by a woman. A rather modest woman (sounds alien, right) but since she did not leave her name as the discoverer I think she was the exception in the modesty department.

Men don't read between the lines. Hell, most times they don't even read the lines. But women, they read the lines all right and then they proceed to read between the lines , whatever that means, and sometimes flip the pages to see what else is written. They analyse things by reading the lines and then over analyse by reading between the lines and then since they have a convoluted logic all hell breaks loose. Sample this example:
Guy - honey, you are looking pretty.
Girl (reading the line) - Really. I know.
And now Girl (reading between the line) - Am i really looking pretty or is he just pulling my leg. Am I looking fat? Is the dress OK? Did he see something which he is not telling me? Is he seeing someone else and just saying this to keep me happy.
You see what I mean when I say the most dangerous discovery is reading between the lines.
Guys - don't even bother to read. We are good at that.
Girls - the reason i wrote this long post is so that you have enough to read between the lines.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Women on crusades

Hvae you ever noticed that woman never go for nice guys. Like the Surinder Sahani's of the world. They like their alter ego, the smart alec who has too many opinions, who thinks too much of himself and who will pamper you but will also let you know that he is a god gift to her. However, once they marry that smart alec, all women want the alec to turn into Surinder Sahani, the nice, docile, quiet, I will do anything you want and you are the apple of my eye kind of a person. I don't agree with nice guys finishing last. It's an oxymoron or someone who said was definitely a moron. All women want the arrogant prick to turn into a nice guy after marriage. I believe women are on a crusade. The kind of crusade only women can embark on and which no one understands. Well, with women, no one can really understand them and I am digressing. They want the world to turn into a nicer place and for that they all are willing to fall for the bad guy so that they can change him into a nice person eventually making the world a nicer place.
And like a man and only a man could say this, they have it all wrong. Simple solution to making the world a nice place is go only for the nice guys. Once all bad guys realize they are not getting women, they will either turn nice guys or turn to nice guys.

Q: What is common between an angry woman and monsoon

A: When it rains, it pours.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Q: What is common between weather and women?

A: Unpredictability.

Friday, July 10, 2009

There are so many things that are incredible about me. The most amazing is my humility - Will Smith.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Money cannot buy love but improves the bargaining position.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Earlier - you'd call friends and say let's meet and plan something.
Now - you'd call and say let's plan and then meet someday.
Friends are same, guess priorities have changed.

Kambakkht Ishq - update

I was talking to a friend of mine who lives in Kolkata and is totally clued into Tamil movies. He told me that Kambakkht Ishq is a remake of Tamil film Pammal K Sambandam (PMK) featuring Kamal Hassan. I haven't seen PMK so cannot tell you dear readers whether it is a better movie. And, you already know my take on the Hindi remake. I wasn't aware of the remake thing and when i read the director's and producer's interview claiming that this was an original idea scripted just for Akki I believed it as it sounded quite believable. But like all "originals" in Hindi movies this one is also an "original" fake..oops..remake. Only wish that they had learnt from the makers of Ghajini the art of remaking a movie and making it watch worthy.

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Piracy Code

I have finally managed to break the Piracy Code (couldn't resist the cheap imitation of the DaVinci Code). Meaning, why people go for pirated DVDs instead of watching the movie in a theatre or wait the official DVD release. Piracy thrives due to movies like Chandni Chowk and Kambakkth Ishq. Who would want to spend 500 bucks for a movie which is absolutely trash?

Same thing goes for music CD. Why spend for a movie CD when only one song is good in the entire album. It is better to download it from the net or go for an assortment of good songs in one CD.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Kambakkht Ishq

Why watch:
  • Kareena's quintessential pout which she takes it to new levels in the movie. If you are a bebo fan, you can check out any of her magazine pics in which she is pouting.
  • Kareena's clothes and shoes. Some of them are fabulous. No, I am not gay and coming out of the closet now that Article 377 has been modified.
  • Akshay's stunts though they could have been handled a little better. Instead of giving them a comic theme they should have been made purely action oriented.
  • Akshay's regular comic acting. He is a good comic actor and has done a good job in this one too.
  • Exotic locales of Hollywood studios, Los Angeles and Italy. Free ride around the world sitting in a movie theatre.
  • The title song which is really nice. Hummable track and great music.
  • Lots of women in itsy bitsies giving the paisa vasool experience.

Why avoid:

  • Juvenile comedy sequences. Done to death scenes repeated in a million movies all across the world and fail to make you laugh.
  • Kareena's over the top acting. Bearable at times only.
  • Amrita Arora - why the heck is she in a movie. She took over the size zero crown from Bebo and looks emaciated. She has shown a lot of skin wearing lingerie and all along you'd wish that she covers up and spare you.
  • Aftab Shivdasani - same as above.
  • Denise Richards - What the heck is she doing in the movie. Does not up the glam quotient if they were trying to get that effect with her presence. She looks old and haggard.
  • Flimsy plot just like the itsy bitsies worn by many women in the movie. Actually no, the plot is flimsier.
  • Tried to achieve the Hollywood class of movie making but the plot and theme is only for the masses who like cat calls and wolf whistling.

Certain scenes are funny but the rest of the movie fails to make you laugh and you feel "kambakkth" for going to the theatre.

Overall: My suggestion is to watch it on DVD with the remote firmly gripped in your hand. You will save money on the tickets and on headache pills. You will also end up finishing a lot of pending work at home while watching the movie. Or, invest money in the dvd of Hangover. A much better movie.